Home Sweet Home, Kuching!

Sweat! and more sweat! That's all I can say about my initial re-entry experience back into my home culture. Nothing in my cultural, cross-cultural, and psychological trainings and preparations could have prepared me for this physiological discomfort. I felt like I was in the U's rec center's steamroom breathing in the warm air that is moisture-filled the first few days I was here. I had to shower so many times a day to bring my body's temperature to a bearable level. My record was 4 showers in a day.

I arrived in Changi airport at 1 am after a 21 hour flight from LAX and was greeted by my favorite aunt and cousin with her kid and her sister's kid. I was thrilled to see them although I can't really feel the excitement or even show it to them due to my excessive exhaustion. But, I was glad to have arrived safely in Singapore. My cousin drove me to their house to sleep before sending me to the airport again the next day to take my flight back to Kuching. As expected I couldn't fall asleep due to jet lag and all I could think about was nothing. Things felt as familiar as before. I was too tired still. My cousin bought u char kueh, tau hu hua, chui kueh, and chai tau kueh for breakfast and I was so happy to see them but I didn't feel that great after eating them. Sigh, jet lag.

My cousin sent me off at the airport in the afternoon. When I entered the gate waiting area, I could hear people speaking hokkien, iban and bahasa sarawak. How "homely". I noted their appearances too - very down-to-earth. Wow, I was really going home. To add to the "homeliness", the airplane attendants were not as friendly and cheerful (they looked like they hated their jobs) as the ones in SIA and they all spoke in Malaysian accent. Moreover, when I found my seat, a guy was sitting in my window seat. It's quite Malaysian I guess for somebody to do things even though he know it's not nice unless he is told off. I asked him nicely to return my seat and luckily he did it without any obvious contempt towards me. I ended up having a pretty descent conversation with him and his son during my flight back. I also caught myself off-guard with my American accent when I asked for waDer instead of waTer from the air stewardess and had her going "What?". Oops..

I kept looking at my watch, excited and apprehensive about arriving. I looked out the window and enjoyed the aerial view of Sarawak. It was a lot more mountainous and forest-dense in my mind. My heart pounded heavily when I arrived. I was so happy to see my parents. My mum was appalled by how skinny I got though. LOL. I gave them both a hug and they drove me home. My house seems a lot smaller but everything is the same. Nice! I didn't do much that night except unpacked, had home cooked dinner (which I couldn't fully enjoy), watched tv and slept.

The next morning, I woke up early and had breakfast at home since my parents hadn't taken leave. I reacquainted myself to my old kitchen, turned on the radio, and sat down at the dinner table while eating biscuits and drinking milo. I looked out at the papaya tree behind my house and watched the cats sunbathe at my backyard, and suddenly, my eyes began to teared. It was a small moment of bliss and gratitude for being home. The immediate perspiration after stepping out of an air-conditioned room, the old newspaper collectors yelling through the speaker of their van, and the 'put-put' sound of the van that sells bread...boy it felt so good to be home. I was also happy to have met up with my friends and caught up on each others' lives. I also visited my high school and my choir teacher. The trip was reminiscent of my old days in high school.

Of course, there were some reverse culture shocks. Other than the heat, my family looked so different - my parents looked different and my siblings and cousins are so big and tall. Everything is smaller - shopping aisles and carts, cars, roads, food portions. The cars are driving on the left side of the road and the signs look different. I also forgot how to coexist with my family under one roof after being used to living alone with so much freedom. I couldn't take it when my mum reminded me to do every single little things at home, controlled my diet (nagged me on what to eat and what not to eat as I am still recovering from my appendectomy), and yelled at me when I played basketball with my siblings. She meant well as she was looking out for me but I felt caged and trapped. LOL. It's better now that I'm almost used to it. I also almost got into an argument with my family about microwave use. They didn't believe that one could just put food in a ceramic bowl/plate and place it into the microwave. They insisted on using the tupperware microwave container. My mum irked me when she said something about me picking up crap from the US. It was at that moment that I realized I was imposing my newly acquired knowledge and values on them. Things have been the way they were before I came back, why should they change just because I'm back with some new knowledge and values. *sighs* I should take it easy and not come forth too strong. Also, when I met up with my relatives, I expected that they would be very happy to see me but they seemed quite aloof and just briefly greeted me. I guess I wasn't close to them before, so why would I suddenly be close to them now. I expected things to have changed drastically over 3 years but I suppose some things don't change. I guess absence makes one's memory rosier. All these less than pleasant experiences made me feel like I never left home.

I had some interesting observations when I bumped into my cousin who is an assistant minister in Sarawak. I thought he was a humble, low-profile lad as my parents and I caught him sitting alone having lunch in a fishball noodle shop. He asked me what I was studying and if I planned to return to Sarawak. I said I wasn't sure and he encouraged me to come back. That got me thinking about if I should stick with what I like and stay abroad or be selfless and come back to serve those who could use my skills most. *sighs*

My uncle, Kuching's mayor, who was eating in another coffee shop with a convoy of people, saw my cousin's car passed and asked him to join him in the other coffee shop. We walked with him to that shop after we were done eating and joined them in their conversation. Wow, it was so funny how big shots socialize and how the other commoners tried to follow the protocol and butter them up. That aside, the thing that popped up in my mind while I was with them was that if I were to come back here one day to help with the autism center or with the research development in this country, I would have to socialize with politicians to gain access to funding from the government and stuffs. Hmm...I just hope that it won't be so pretentious and that there would be a lot of new young leaders who would understand the importance of research and education and things of that sort. We'll see.

In summary, I learned that "One's destination is not a place but a new way of seeing things", as said by Henry Miller. It's a good thing that I had my past cross-cultural experiences to help me adjust and adapt quickly. Before I came back, I thought 2 months was a short time to be back here. Now I think otherwise. I guess I haven't filled my time enough. It's a good thing July is traveling month for me. I did something interesting today; I had a driving lesson with my dad today in the manual car with very very low steering power. I totally forgot how to drive a stick. Fun times..