Home Wherever I Am: In Barcelona - Day 1 to Day 4

Jan 7th, 2009 - "The Day"
After spending 6 months of preparation, it was finally "the day" - that I would fly to Barcelona. After saying my goodbyes to Jin Sheng, I took the airtrain to Terminal 7 of JFK airport and queued in the extremely long check in line. I waited for almost an hour and I was still waiting in line. My flight was going to leave in an hour's time. I almost panicked as I was ineligible for self-check in and I had to be done with security check an hour before I fly. Then a worker came and ask for people who had 8.05pm flight and I raised my hand. He let me cut the line and check in. Phew! Guess I didn't have to worry at all. My flight was delayed till 8.29pm and the flight to London was not too bad although I puked twice. I shouldn't have eaten the bun on the plane. However, I was lucky to meet a nice American who works as a graphic designer for United Colors of Benetton in Venice. We chat a bit and he shared some of his experience in Europe and told me some nice places to visit. I am also grateful that I was given a seat in the Economy Plus class although I booked my seat for the economy class. The seats were much more spacious.

Jan 8th, 2009 - "Stuck in London"
After 5 hours in a turbulent flight, we arrived safely in London Heathrow airport. In the terminal transfer bus, I overheard 4 American girls talking about going to study in Barcelona and so I asked them if they were in the same program as I was, and they were. So I hung out with them and later some of their friends from their uni a bit while we wait to board. When it was time to go to our departure gate, we met more IES students and I was so happy. It didn't take us long to discover that 3/4 of the people waiting in the departure gate were IES students - young people, American accent....duh! We waited past the boarding time and the receptionist announced that there was a technical problem with the airplane and they do not know when we would be able to fly. So we all sat there waiting. Finally after 3 hours of delay, we were able to board the plane.

IES told us that we had to arrive before 5pm so that the staff there could assist us in the airport otherwise we had to call the emergency number they gave us. We arrived at 6.00pm but luckily they were still there as they received the news that our flight from London was delayed. I felt kind of excited and a little scared at the same time when we arrived because the people there could not speak in English. When I went through the custom check point, the guy at the counter said "hola!" and I was like...oooh...haha...After collecting my luggage I went out to look for the bull statue as instructed by IES and was then led by IES staff to the office on the upper floor of the airport. There, the other students and I were briefed on what to do next. I was also told that my host mother could not speak English. I freaked out a little bit as I could not speak good Spanish. The lady told me not to as the host mother is used to having students with little knowledge of Spanish. I went to the taxi stand and got on the taxi. I had to give the directions in Spanish. It was so nerve-wrecking and exciting at the same time. The taxi driver was nice too. I asked him if he spoke English and he said he could but only very little. I sat erected the whole time in the taxi..enjoying the night view of Barcelona, feeling thankful that I am here. That "Ah.." feeling. I thought maybe I should talk to the driver a bit and practice some Spanish. LOL...so I told him the city is "muy grande". Then he asked me if I was studying there. I did my best explaining it in Spanish. Haha...I wasn't too bad at it.

Soon, we reached my homestay apartment. P° Bonanova, 96, 1°1a. After paying 27 euros, I went into the lobby and I wondered how to get to my unit. With my two huge suitcases, I try to figure out which elevators to take. Then I saw an "A" sign on the left so I thought that must be what the "a" from 1a means. Staircase A. I wasn't sure still because there was no B on the other side. So I took the weird elevator (weird because the door is like a room door which you have to open to get in) to the 1st floor and came out to see number 1 on an apartment door. I pressed the doorbell and my señora came out to greet me. I greeted her and asked if she was my señora in Spanish. She said yes and showed me my room. She also explained to me how to take the metro to get to downtown by myself the next day...in Spanish. I also met my housemate from California at that time. We talked in broken Spanish a little bit. She showed me around the house and asked me some questions. I did my best to answer but it took forever. Nevertheless, she was patient and nice. I looked around the house a bit and saw some family pictures. I assumed she's a widow in her sixties and her children are away. After explaining stuffs to me and letting me off to talk to my housemate a bit, she went off and prepare the dinner. My housemate is very nice. We talked a little and I immediately felt that we would get along fine. We had quiche for dinner at 9pm and it was delicioso. Mmmm...good food. She made a huge pan of quiche just for the two of us. She didn't eat with us. I did not understand why though. I asked her but she only said she didn't eat much. It would be nice if we could all eat together. I couldn't finish my share of the quiche so I asked my señora if I could save it for lunch as lunch will not be provided. She agreed and I was happy - my way of saving money and reducing waste. =)

It was already 11.30pm after I was done with shower and I didn't feel sleepy so I decided to unpack and arrange my stuffs. When I finally went to bed, I couldn't sleep immediately. I tossed and turned but I just couldn't sleep. I went on for an hour and half. It was already 2am so I became worried that I was not going to have enough sleep before the next day as I have to be up by 7.30am and go downtown for my orientation by myself. I felt horrible but I found Jin Sheng and my parents online so I chatted with them and had a video call with Jin Sheng a bit. After half an hour, I tried to sleep again. I slept after a while...luckily.

Everyone was just waiting...better late than never though

Jan 9th, 2008 - "More Grateful than Ever"
Somehow while on the bed, I felt like I overslept and I looked at my phone and it was 9.16am. My orientation was 9am. Argh.... Luckily, there is another session at 3pm. I figured I could just go for that one instead. Phew. I went online a bit and ate breakfast. I thought I should probably leave early to figure out my way around and meet the IES staff and let them know I missed the orientation. When I reached Plaςa Catalunya, I could not find the road signs and I didn't know where to go even with my map. I walked around with hope that I could find my way. I asked directions from people and everyone just kept giving me different directions. Finally, I met somebody who could speak English and explained to me the road systems and where the signs were. Thank goodness! After 40 minutes of getting lost, I finally found the place. I was so near to the station. But it was not too bad. There's always a silver lining in every cloud. The getting lost made me more familiar with the place. ;)

After talking to the staff, I had some free time before the orientation so I walked around the plaza and took some pictures. It was great. I felt great...at times, I would reflect on how much I have grown since college. When I first got to the states, I was shaken everytime something different happened e.g. when everyone talked like popcorn while I was always quiet and waiting for the opportunity to talk. Here, when I witness something different, I just appreciate the differences as shaped by cultural differences. Even when I was getting lost, I still felt calm inside and even when I had difficulty asking stuffs in Spanish, I did not feel like crying. I didn't feel sad when it felt kind of difficult to approach the other Americans and trying to make friends with them. It felt okay that I was doing stuffs alone and not together with other people (as expected in my culture). I felt aware that I did not judge myself as much as I did before. I felt quite liberated. Things were as they were. That was just how it was. =).

Plaςa Catalunya - A rainy day

After orientation, I went to Barceloneta by the metro to meet with Toni, a Barcelonan friend of mine who works in Minnesota but was back in Barcelona for the holidays. I was lucky. He came with his girlfriend. I greeted him and hugged and he explained that in Spain, girls greet each other and with guys by airkissing twice on each side of the cheek. So I did that with both of them. It was fun. He told me as I do that more often, I would learn to relax my neck. LOL. When his other friends arrived, we walked around and he showed me the cathedral in Born neighborhood and also the gothic quarter. I saw the Sagrada Familia for the first time from far too. After walking for about 1.5 hour, we went to his favorite kebab restaurant and I ordered "Super Durum" and "clara", a lemonade beer - something like shandy but a little more bitter. I was so shocked by the small portion of the meal just to realize that I was so used to the American meal portion. It was a great meal. We chatted and ate in a small cozy restaurant. Toni explained to me how the people in Spain drink to socialize, not to get drunk - common among Americans. The legal drinking age is 16 but people don't really care if you do not cause any trouble. I thought that was good. I asked him what about those who do not like drinking. He said it did not matter. You can drink whatever. Nobody would mind. That made me felt relieved. I am not a drinker but I like wine. I would like to taste and learn the differences. After dinner, we walked somemore and went to a bar. We went to one but it was so smoky. so we went to another less smoky one. He said it is normal that bars are smoky and I would get used to it. It wasn't my cup of tea but I guess it was okay. The bars there felt like mamak store to me. People hang out and chat. I ordered un copa de cava (a glass of champagne) for 1.50 euros. Cava is a champagne made in Catalonia. It was okay for its price - like I can tell what's good, but it didn't taste bad. Before we knew it, it was 1.30am. After sending Zoey and Mike off at the bus stop, we hopped on the metro to Toni's neighborhood, he got his car and drove me home. It was a good night. I had a great time out, with Toni as a demographer and geographer giving me some information about the city and the others sharing their stories about themselves and their experiences. It was great.

Chiling out in the kebab restaurant

Jan 10th, 2009 - "To the Medieval Cities of Besalu and Vic"
The trip was a mandatory trip by IES. We took the bus and went first to Besalu. While waiting for the bus, I met with a girl from my orientation and we sat together on the bus and engaged in a conversation. It was a good one. When we got off, I met Tina from orientation and we hung out throughout the trip. I was lucky to have made friends with good people. Before we left, we agreed to hang out the next day with our housemates and and our other friends as well. I told my housemate about it and she agreed to it too. I looked forward to stomp the city the next day.

Besalu

Tour guide giving a talk about Cathedral Sant Pere (St Peter)

Christian Quarter

Miqve, jewish purification bath in the Jewish Quarter

Lunch in Vic - Fondue de Pizza

Main square in Vic

Cathedral of Sant Pere in Vic


Greek temple converted to roman fortress in Vic

Jan 11th, 2009 - "Discovering Barcelona and Making New Friends"
I woke up at 12pm today. I pretty much made up for the lack of sleep that I was suffering from since I left New York. While I was talking to my parents on skype, Stephanie, my housemate knocked on my door and told me that she met Tina in one of the bars and she happened to be Stephanie's friend-from-home's housemate and they all made plans to hang out together. What a coincidence! or isit? So we left to meet her other friends in Plaςa Catalunya and we chilled in Farggi restaurant. I ordered "chocolate caliente" and it's so different from American hot chocolate. It's literally hot chocolate - it looks like melted chocolate bar, so thick and chocolaty. After that, we walked along la rambla (a pedestrian mall with sellers and posers who try to make money), Port Vell and the beach. After a while, we finally met up with Tina and her housemates, Cassandra and Xin Yi from China. We went to a tapas bar and I ordered "croqueta de jamon" (ham croquettes). I also tried some of the snacks the others order and they were delicious eg. "patatas bravas", and some cod balls. After dinner, we walked along the street back to the station. While walking, I could not believe my eyes when I saw a shop called "Kualalumpur". I got so excited as I thought it was a M'sian store so I asked the others to stop by at the store. I didn't find any M'sians. It's a Spanish store, the sales assistants were Spaniards and the clothes were made in Spain. Nevertheless, there was a sale and I ended up buying a jacket for 10 euros. We continued walking and stopping by at some shops once in a while. It was fun. I also got to know Xin Yi more and we clicked quite well. It was nice. The day was nice. Something funny happened too. Tina, Xin Yi and I went to the Cultural Institute to go to the restroom. When we came out, we could not find the others so we waited for them. Suddenly, Barclay ran towards Tina and grabbed her handbag. He was just pulling her legs it shocked her so much that it was funny. I enjoyed the day a lot and I just spent 2 hours or more blogging. =)

Regression

I've always thought and mentioned that being in the states has changed my life in many ways especially in increasing my self-confidence and security. At times, this statement is questioned - when I regressed back to my old, self-depreciated self. When this happens, it scares me and sends me to a state of uncertainty and ambiguity. I thought I am different. I thought the small daily problems are merely daily hindrances that I am be able to overcome without a drop of sweat. Who knew a "changed" person can regress back to the older self.

I haven't felt that upbeat lately; actually since summer started but there have been a lot of ups too in this moderate down. I was always excited to meet new friends from all over the world and felt the joy of breaking free from any attachments to a particular group of friends. But at times, I did feel the emptiness and the deprivation of close-knit friendships. Most of the times, I managed to justify that as an "either or" path and there are trade-offs in my choices.

Lately, in the summer, I have been hanging out with my fellow compatriots from home a lot and a lot of things were going on in my head: questionings, dissatisfactions, expectations, insecurity, envy, jealousy, and discontentment. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, wishing I was somewhere else. Sometimes I couldn't even explain why. It just seemed like I was on top of the world at one moment and in a blink of an eye, I got sent back into an old, familiar drama. Then, I recognized some of the old me that I thought has disappeared and has been replaced by a new, seasoned me. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to say that there is anything wrong with my friends, but I'm just expressing the discomfort and the educational experience that I gained from it - pleasant or unpleasant. It just feels odd at times, like the foundation of my life gets shaken.

Based on the reflection model I've learned from my leadership class, that part of my reflection was "What". The next step.."So What?" How should I approach this and solve this problem. Well, I guess this is the time to put what I've learned from the Cross Cultural Leadership Retreat in practice...to embrace the ambiguity, remain still and conscious and just take one simple step at a time regarding my actions - not to think so much and just act accordingly.

5 things that I am grateful for:
1. Spent happy quality time with family on skype
2. Being treated very well by friends around me
3. Received an insight and lesson from the experience above
4. Read quite a lot of pages in "Atlas Shrugged"
5. I'm alive!

Epiphany? I don't remember!

I went to see my lecturer today to discuss my lab assignments and to ask him questions on things that he had taught in class but I received more than what I have bargained for. After giving me helpful advice on how to improve my paper and good tips to understand a confusing concept better, he started giving more advice on what one has to put in to be successful in what one does - get out there and do more than what is required eg. read outside materials, work on a research with other professors, and basically just keep challenging yourself to improve yourself. He continued sharing his experience being in schools with varying standards and coming up to a conclusion that there are smart people everywhere whether it's in a small community college, the U of M, or Stanford. The only difference is the frequency. His characterizes smart or beyond average people as those who would go all out utilizing the opportunities and read beyond what's assigned to us. He also said even though he knows that it's kinda hard to do outside reading etc, it's part of the challenge to make time for it. That shows how passionate we are about something and that's always good.

When he started giving his advice, I could feel my eyes sparkled; I felt like I had an epiphany - things to write in this blog - but at the end of his speech, I forgot what I was going to write. I started to wonder what is it that he said that I found so awe-inspiring. LOL. I couldn't remember. But the gist of his message stuck with me. What a blessing it is for me to have a good lecturer this summer.

5 things I am grateful for:
1. I am grateful that I went to see my lecturer
2. I am grateful that he shared with me his wisdom and advice
3. I am grateful that it is a beautiful day today - a little hot but not too hot
4. I am grateful that I got some studying done before my quiz tomorrow
5. Everyone around me seems happy today!

Have a pleasant day everyone!

CRACKed

"Two years will pass soon enough" was what I said to Flo when she told me reacted slightly surprised when I told her I was going back to M'sia in 2010. Giving it a thought, it is only two years. In a blink of an eye, a year has gone by. This time last year, I was preparing to take my final exams in INTI for the last time and fearing of the unknown (journey to the US). It's amazing how we just make plans and trust that everything is going to turn out as plan or to back it up with some other plans and everything just seems to turn out okay no matter how things are. Life just unfolds as the current of time carries you with it.

When I was wiping tables at work this afternoon, a cheerful man walked into the lunchroom, smiled and said hi to me. As my glasses were falling, I pushed it up with my gloved hand that was holding the wiping towel while I said hi. He then looked at me and said, "Oh, you look like you're sniffing the thing like you're sniffing glue or sth" and laughed. I found it hilarious so I laughed with him. Then I explained to him what I was doing and he said, "Oh, you look like you were sniffing it and going all high with it. " I laughed and said, "No, no.." He then said, "It's okay, you're a college student. You're expected to do that anyway." And he burst out laughing. Omg, that made my day. We then introduced ourselves. Apparently, he's incharge of students' insurance so he knows a lot of M'sians here and he handles request from Petronas in terms of handling the batch of Petronas scholars.

When I went back to the breakroom and sat in front of the computer to do some work, I noticed how the cheerfulness in me began to wane, gradually but noticeable. It's just amazing how transient my emotional states can be. I don't know what to comment about it but to just say that it's interesting that I was able to note that. Maybe as I get better at that, I might be able to catch the set point of the mood change and make conscious choices on my attitude.

5 things I am grateful for pertaining Sunday:
1. The weather was awesome - cloudy weather during the day, and rainy at night.
2. It only rained after my roommate and I got back from basketball.
3. I had a great time with my friends while at basketball.
4. I feel relieved after reorganizing some of my stuffs.
5. Everyone around me seem to be in a good mood, making me happy.

5 things I am grateful for today:
1. The heritage committee like my work and complimented me on that.
2. I spent 4 hours in the nursing building today = more money! =)
3. I finally sent in my application for the study abroad program in Barcelona
4. I met so many people, strangers and friends who made me laughed
5. I did well in my Lab 3. =)

Have a pleasant day everyone!

Pleasant Sunday

Mmm..yummy!

What a pleasant and relaxing day it is today! I just woke up and the first to-do was to cook for the next four days. LOL! It's hard to believe but I actually enjoy cooking. Chopping the vegetables, meat, experimenting different methods of cooking, watching my roommate cook, and cleaning were fun. While engaged in the activity, I just forgot about time and the other work that I have to do; I merely do what I was doing in the present. It just goes back to being in the now and the power that lies in the present moment.

Later that day, I spent my time surfing the net and studying in the library with my roommate. I got a lot of studying done and I'm glad about it. When we were done, we went jogging and that was at 8pm. By the time it got back, it was dark. Jogging made me feel fat because I had to stop after running for ten minutes and had to walk the way back. *Sigh* Nevertheless, I'm just happy I got to run after weeks of sedentariness. My goal of getting a well-toned body would have to wait (It's for the greater good) as I got placed into the control instead of the exercise group in the WISER study (a research on the effect of exercise on the prevention of breast cancer). Hence, I cannot exercise more than 2-3 times a week. If I have gotten into the exercise group, I would have to exercise 5 times a week, 45 minutes a day with a trainer. So Cool! Oh well, random assignment has got me into the control group. Tough luck. Being able to exercise 2-3 times a week is not too bad but that would be left to my own motivation. I suppose being in the control group is better for me since my fall schedule is jammed packed.

Author Sarah Breathnach of "Simple Abundance" talked about how important and life-enriching it is to just write down 5 things that we are grateful for every day. And from my past experiences on blogging about life lessons and things that I am grateful for, I noticed that I became more observant and aware of the things around me, to think about what to write in my blog. Thus, the suggested process really aids to development of consciousness. So from today onwards, I'm gonna end my blog post with 5 things that I am grateful for.

1. I appreciate that Raihan bought Yi Wen and I apple pies from BK
2. I am grateful that I managed to finish reading my notes
3. I am grateful that I got to cook and bake cookies with a good cook, my roomie (fortunate to room with sb who can cook well)
4. Today is a peaceful day with very little disturbance
5. I got to talk to my parents and bf on the phone =)

Girls' Night!

My roomie and I just got back from an all-girls' night and we had a ton of fun. It was with three other M'sian girls and 3 Americans from the International Students Outreach. Other than skip-Bo and pictionary, we exchanged meaningful and informative conversations that I found interesting.

One of them was a law student and she got selected to be a jury in a criminal case that she is not allowed to share with us. She explained the judiciary system and how she has to be on call for two weeks. She is really tired because of it. It was a once in a life time experience for her though.

Other than the all-girls' night, I have started reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. What a thick book! 1067 pages, small print. I hope a month is sufficient for me to finish it as I'd like to write a scholarship essay on it. Wish me luck!

Lessons from the Little Ones...

One of the things that I planned to do for this summer was to volunteer in a non-profit organization to get a volunteer experience. For the past 18 years in M'sia, I've never done any volunteering. I thought since there is the opportunity and convenience in the U of M with its Community and Service Learning Center to help us decide where we would like to volunteer and the processes involved, I should give it a shot.

So, here I am, volunteering in a school for children with special and typical needs - Fraser School. All sorts of services like occupational, physical, and music therapies are available for the children who need extra help. The school is an all inclusive environment in which it caters to the need of all children. As for children with typical needs, being there in the school exposes them to the people's differences and allows them to learn compassion and understanding as well as respect towards others.

As I enter the Hummingbird room (each classroom has a name) every Friday, I feel the presence of joy that overflows the young ones. The curious little ones, eager to learn and play, unstymied by daily worries. The smiles and innocence or unadulterance in my small friends almost never seize to make me tear a little. That keeps me motivated to travel 2 hours back and forth every Friday to play with them.

Sometimes, I feel like I am entering the Twilight zone (the tune's playing in my head now). It is definitely a cultural exchange, in the sense that they are kids and it's a challenge to understand them and talk to them. In addition, the toddlers are smart, verbally competent; the reason being that adults around them speak to them like adults and they don't limit their vocabulary and slow down in their speech for the little ones. This is so different from how it is in M'sia. "Goo goo, gaga..." Haha...adults trying to speak on the kids' level with the thought that if they slow down for them, the kids would learn better. Little do they know that the opposite reigns true. LOL.

It's very fun to play with the kids and participate in their fun activities such as making play dough, jell-Os, and monster toasts, reading story books, and just playing with the toys. =D

There are challenges though. At some points when the small buddies needed adult help or when they cry, I didn't know what to do. I just did what I think is right or I just ask for the teachers' help. The teachers are wonderful. They just seem to know what to do.

Working in Fraser not only allows me to experience working in a non-profit organization, it gives me a greater perspective of childhood education and of life itself. Fraser has the philosophy of using positive statements in educating the children and the institution believes that by telling the children not to do an action, they would not stop as they do not know what to do if they don't do that. An alternative instruction should be given. I've always known that but I've always thought that the application was difficult. How do we not ask the children to not jump around or not to push someone or not to talk when the teachers are talking? Well, at Fraser, it's "bottoms on the floor" or "keep your hands to yourself" or "calm your bodies" or "bubbles in your mouths". What a lesson to learn! Besides that, working there gives me a greater sense of appreciation for my parents. Intellectually I know that it is difficult for parents to raise children but I did not really grasp that until I have first hand experience with children myself. Thanks Mum and Dad.

Basically, it's just remarkably fun there and I hope to make the best out of my time at Fraser School!